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[09 Jan 2007|06:53pm] |
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I fail at ex phil. I thought "aw, my essay sucked" but I figured out that I was automatically failed because I wrote it in English and I was signed up for Bokmål. I'll whine about it. Not sure it would pass anyways though. Sux 2 b me.
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[09 Jan 2007|12:05am] |
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I haven't cried in years, but I do remember the feeling after. You get that special taste in your mouth and you're exhausted and you have this lump in your throat. I have the same feeling now. Might be because I'm extremely tired and worn out from sats and all, but I have the taste, the lump and the same type of physical exhaustion. But I feel ok and I haven't cried, I promise.
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[05 Jan 2007|05:13pm] |
As if the ups aren't few enough already, I've lost 4kgs since before exams and christmas so roughly two months. And the first workout session didn't go to well. Had to drop weight on most of the machines/death trap/devices/chaos engines. Guess that means room for improvement, right? I'm such a weakling.
Oh and I'm also starting to wonder if I should try to be a little bit more masculine. Move like I have a beer belly and less capoeira-y agile movements in my everyday movearoundyness. LOOK A LITTLE LESS LIKE A FAG. Except it's not that bad. Whaddya think?
Oh, and being bored today I went to take some pics and check out a store or two. I ended up going to the cathedral to take pictures, but instead I rediscovered a hobby. I like taking pictures of people taking pictures. Of course it's not funny unless you have all of in inside the frame of the image. You need the person taking the picture, the camera and the people posing. The actual background is less important and the most important thing is the person taking the picture. Iunno why, but I find it funny when I see a woman in a white puffajacket press her camera button, run a few meters and pose as if she's reheheally enjoying herself. Win.
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| I was never any good at math. |
[05 Jan 2007|12:53pm] |
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music |
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Powerman 5000 - Public Menace, Freak, Human Fly (google it) |
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Less Y
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More X
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Success -> GO!
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| History of the world (must read) |
[01 Jan 2007|06:20am] |
So this is the unofficial history of the world. Read it or die. I'm not gonna cut it because nobody is gonna read it if I do. And don't whine about blowing up your friends page. It's not gonna kill anyone. :) (and I never use LJ so I don't remember how anyways.) Happy new year and all that shit. I luuv u awl. <3
(Purportedly extracted from various student's history essays. Spelling is unchanged from the original)
Preface
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eight grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
Richard Lederer
St. Paul's School
The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in "The Illiad", by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity", in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.
Eventually, the Ramones conquered the Geeks. History call people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by George Bernard Shaw, and the victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally, the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted "hurrah." Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies and errors. In one of Shakespear's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miquel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote". The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost." Then his wife dies and he wrote "Paradise Regained."
During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later the Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and the was called the Pilgrim's Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who came down the hill rolling their was hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porpoises on their back. Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. During the War, Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.
Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "a horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. Them the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called "Candy". Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the Autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.
Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
France was in a very serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The Marseillaise was the theme song of the French Revolution, and it catapulted into Napoleon. During the Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes. Then the Spanish gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's flanks. Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained. He wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear him any children.
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick Raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturist who wrote the "Organ of the Species". Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.
The First World War, cause by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
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[09 Dec 2006|07:30pm] |
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5304 0373 9512 3717
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[07 Dec 2006|09:36am] |
All I want is to sleep so I can wake up with different thoughts in my head.
"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes".
Yeah.
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[03 Aug 2006|10:55pm] |
[22:53] [thanatopsis] you all are sad
[22:53] [HerrStoy] Said the guy to the irc channel.
[22:53] [thanatopsis] or should I say the sacks of sadness
[22:54] [thanatopsis] im also writing an paper and studying for a final
[22:54] [HerrStoy] Wow. Does that paper have grammar in it?
[22:55] [thanatopsis] yes it does, but im having my sis look at it to check it also
[22:58] [HerrStoy] Good. Good for you.
And then...
[23:04] [Relwoh] oh wow sound I was never much good at english
[23:04] [Relwoh] or maths to be honest
[23:05] [thanatopsis] IM good with english but suck at math
[23:21] [HerrStoy] Good with English, huh?
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[02 Jun 2006|06:53am] |
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So, who the frell is planning on getting a norwegian woodie? Going to Norwegian Wood, I mean. Which day? What? When? How? WOOOOOOT!
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| EU taxing SMS and e-mail. |
[30 May 2006|06:56am] |
And if you haven't gotten the info yet the EU has talked about taxing e-mail and sms.
News sites, in their moronic journalism (big whoop), say that this is a law. Period. Nothing about it being a suggestion, as indicated by others, but a law that is being passed. Not that it matters to Norway, not being a member of the EU, but it's still all over. There is no way in hell (or any other infernal pit of fire or eternal doom and damnation) they can count your e-mails and tax them, and if they did they wouldn't make anything. They would make 400 euros a day and the math looks something like this:
400,000,000 citizens in the EU
* 10 email/day per citizen (and that's being generous)
* 0,00001 cent/email
=€400 per day as a EU total. (stolen from random dudes comment on dagbladet.no)
And that's counting every one of the EU countries together. It would cost them a hell of a lot more to control the taxing. If they employ two people for the whole of EU together to keep track of things they still wouldn't make a profit. They will never pass this. SMS is a whole other issue. It's easily controlled. The bottom line is;
Don't believe all the shit you read on the net, even from seemingly trustworthy sources.
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[30 May 2006|05:55am] |
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I just managed to spill half a 0,4dl glass of water on my laptop. Right in the keyboard. Then I hurried to pick it up and empty it on the floor, hitting the standing oven, throwing the lappy face down on my bed before unplugging the oven, drying off the laptop, turn it off, get a washcloth to dry up the rest of the water from everywhere and fill up the glass again. I missed the preamp sitting next to the lappy. If I had destroyed the lappy, the preamp and managed to set the room on fire with the oven, I would have killed myself. I suck.
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[16 May 2006|08:41pm] |
1100,- for awesome mic and preamp. Win.
Busted by dad about exam things. Pissed off at that.
Wearing a bunad. Damn, I look awesome. ( wooh pix0r )
Budweiser is a shitty shitty beer.
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[10 May 2006|09:53pm] |
So I've been thinking about getting a DS or a PsP. The problem is that NDS has all the cool games and psp has all the graphics. I wish they could just fuse the two. A system that can be used for more than three hours (psp), and that doesn't look like MSPaint (nds). Why in the flaming tards can't they make something that looks good AND has good games? The DS is total DisneyWare, but with cool games, and the psp has a total of 3 games (I lie) and I don't need god damn video and mp3 support. I would say yes to the psp if the bastards had made more cool games and not only 500kr ones that sucked. Fuck you all very much.
And I can't wait for Will Wright's E3 Spore demo on g4tv. That game will be the best. Ever.
EDIT: And the second after writing this I see that it's here. Woohoo!
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herrstoy's journal